So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I look better un-naked...
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
