We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
