I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
