I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
