Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
