careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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