Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
