my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
