I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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