There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
