jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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