By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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