Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Girls should come with a carfax report
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
