I feel like I'm in dance class right now
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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