i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
