they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
