U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
