you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
