Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I wish life had little blips of pornography
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
