I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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