wanna go halves on a baby?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
