these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
you had me at cake vodka
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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