I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
