i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
