I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
