Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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