Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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