also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
