If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
