So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
then he tried to convert me to islam
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Randomize
