you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
