Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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