THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
