I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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