Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
birth control should be required to get into college
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
