I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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