Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
