As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
