So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
