So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
