I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
