If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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