You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
