you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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