Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
