I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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