i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
