we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
