my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
