everyone is single if you try hard enough
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Randomize
